Divorce

THE DAILY WORD
By Jim Seekamp

Monday February 2, 2009

Matthew 19:3-9 (NIV)
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

It is clear from these verses that divorce is not God's best. It was allowed by God in the law more or less to protect women from the bitterness and abuse they might have received if divorce was prohibited altogether.

But Jesus also showed mercy to a married woman who was caught in adultery; an offense that would-- at the least-- most likely result in her husband divorcing her, and at the worst, result in her death under the Old Covenant:

John 8:4-11 (NIV)
and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

God is concerned for every individual person's well-being. God is love. Jesus showed here that God is not so concerned about laws being carried out to the letter as He is concerned that people are safe and given a chance in life.

Mercy is God's most powerful attribute, and He even said that those who show mercy will receive mercy.

Matthew 5:7 (Jesus speaking)
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

With that in mind, we can look at what Paul wrote about divorce:

1 Corinthians 7:10-15 (NIV)
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

1 Corinthians 7:27 (NIV)
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.

Jesus said, "what God has joined together, let man not separate." He said that if a man divorces his wife and marries another, he commits adultery. Then Paul says, "A wife must not separate from her husband." and "a husband must not divorce his wife." and also "Are you married? Do not seek a divorce." It is crystal clear what God's perfect will is; a married couple should stay together!

It should also be noted that some men beat their wives! In that circumstance, I would never question the wife leaving her husband, in fact, I would encourage her to! And if someone gave her a hard time about it, I would come to her defense!

God is not a God of hatred and evil; He is a God of love and compassion.

There is also a lot of condemnation put on people who divorce as believers. Paul said, "A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband."

BUT IF SHE DOES????

Legalistic, over-religious, judgemental Christians should read that verse over a few times! If there was constant pain and conflict in a marriage, and attempts to solve it proved unfruitful, we should remember that God desires us to live at peace, and He doesn't want constant conflict in a family any more than the family members do!

We should remember that we are not living under the law any more, but under grace, since all of us-- without exception-- have made our share of mistakes. Sometimes it was a mistake to get married in the first place!

Too often we forget what Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery; "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." God allowed divorce in the Old Testament law. It wasn't His best, but He did allow it.

Marriage is a covenant before God, so it can't be taken lightly. Divorce should be avoided if at all possible, and with Christ, all things are possible. Almost any marriage can be saved if both spouses are willing to work hard at it.
But those who divorce should not be condemned or looked down upon. No-one really knows what issues there were between them that caused them to separate, so you cannot assume they could have worked it out.

God is, and always will be, a God of mercy. And mercy triumphs over judgement!

James 2:12,13 (NIV)
12. Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13. because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

PRAYER
Thank You Father for bringing me into Your spiritual Kingdom and making me holy in Your sight. Thank you for giving me Your Word to guide me through this life. Help me remember that my new life in You is not my own, and that I must extend mercy and understanding to others, including those who have been divorced. Help me reflect Your kindness, mercy, and holiness to the world around me.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

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